long nights

long nights

untitled

your taste has been erased. and i saw lights saw as his demon bones built some tunnel.

i yelled at him to gather up his things! his socks! his passions!

and leave my house, but leave your books!

i had begun to place lilies in my mind wherever memories of him once resided.

he looked at me and said, "then i must gather up you and theres no telling where the pieces of you could all be"

he then walked back into my room, just from where he'd come, passing the sacred heart on the wall, he proceeded to remove his clothes piece by piece beginning with his socks. he folded then and then laid in my bed sheets all the way to his head.

the door hit him on the way in, i remember that.

the great regression

the G. R. not the G.D.

we have entered the great regression, a period in time we will have to explain to our children. yes i voted. yes i asked and nagged people to vote, and when i found out i alone knew about twenty people who said they were gonna vote but just didnt get to it, or didnt believe in voting....how many people does the next person know that didnt vote? with so many republicans in their grand ole party riding on elephants, in control with their moral codes and enforcement of it its hard to see the nation as bipartisan. with people like schwarzenegger running our country and calling people girlie men, and bush just being a plain asshole...killing people daily indirectly or directly, whichever way you see it. i know he directly affects my gay friends who are miserable. i know he directly affects my single mother and low income family with his cut back of program spending. i think its ridiculous that the people who care about the welfare of other people are the minority.

restlessness

restlessness

i just bought a new book
the autumn and the patriarch by gabriel garcia marquez
my favorite author
i read it walking to work today from one side of campus to the other, i walked very slowly and carefully watching to make sure i got each step and didnt fall

the leaves were blowing and it was drizzling.

i am trying to embrace my passion and frustration and suffering inside, to harness it to create more beauty.
its eating all of me. and my hair.

sorry i am not trying to be interesting this is how my mind works, alot of jumble-ation at once, in my own world most of the time

i want someone to go explore with, someone who will hold hands with me lay in bed reading books all day someone whose hands look like i want them all over me, someone who will stay up til all hours and talk about literature with me and drink whiskey someone who likes having lovers as much as i do

tonight

la rebeldia es la vida.

every day i prey on passion

garcia lorca discussions tomorrow night. my house. i bring the whiskey and smokes. you bring the hos.

hip hop

hip hop is not my forte

KXDieselBoyKX (12:37:53 PM): can you tell me if you like this line
KXDieselBoyKX (12:39:05 PM): one's .45 might blow your high, you ain't gotta go to church to get to know your God.
sexNbelligerence (12:41:18 PM): its ok. dont try so harddddd
KXDieselBoyKX (12:41:25 PM): that's jay z...

September 2004

in the beginning

ideal is dumb i go to sleep at night thinking one forty two forties this is not the ideal woman. i am not the ideal woman.